Chapstick and Chainsaws

4/13 eat slime erryday

twilit-treaties:

snoopingscout:

pickledistraction:

You stop poking Scout when you see Scofflaw hold the cookie out to you. You smile and accept the cookie.

“Thhhanks,” you say.

You eat it as you watch Dame fall onto Scoff. The cookie and the slime taste pretty good together. You reach over and grab a plain cookie, then get an idea and grab a second one. You get a spoon, scoop a spoonful of slime out of the pitcher and put it on a cookie. Then you put the two cookies together, making a little sopor cookie sandwich.

Since Scoff gave you his cookie, you offer him the cookie sandwich.

You laugh through the sopor-covered cookies you’re still shoving in your mouth, watching Dame hang off of Scofflaw. You try to say something, but it comes out as a garbled noise and that only makes you laugh harder. You should probably slow down and swallow before you choke.

When you finally do so, you hold up your hand.

“I think— I think we should built a fort,” you say. “Y’ know, couch cushions. Saw Pickle has some pretty good ones, on th’ way in.”

You’re not even paying attention until Dame falls on you - she also has a fistful of your hair, which makes you flail wildly in an attempt to get her off. You make vague displeased noises until she’s stabilized again, hanging off you like some small demented treebeast.

“What th’ shit, sis?” Your voice sounds weird even to your ears, but your mind is taken off that when PI hands you a sorpor cookie sandwich.

“I love you so much right now,” you tell him seriously, staring at the cookie sandwich like it’s some sort of divine revelation. It’s gone in seconds, and it even tastes holy. Damn. Pickle must be some sort of messiah to be handing out shit like that.

Of course, your sudden religious ecstasy is dispelled when Scout mentions forts.

You snicker harder at Scofflaw’s flailing, even though the nice thing to do would be to apologise; you didn’t mean to grab his hair again when you lost your balance, you think, but then Scout, Scout the beautiful genius he is, opens his mouth and spouts, uh, more genius stuff.

“A fort?” You repeat, stunned. Then your eyes go wide, your pupils get big, and you grin.

“That’s a brilliant idea, Snoop! I bet we could—” you stop and slide off of Scofflaw gears turning steadily in your head, and then your idea solidifies enough to voice:

“I bet we could even go to the imaginary world if we build a good enough one! I mean this is like troll booze anyway, right?”

Of course! It made sense! Perfect sense! Who knew what kind of wicked shenanigans they’d get up to as trolls!

You keep sliding down Scofflaw because he’s so tall, and you don’t bother using your feet so you just end up in a pile on the floor against his ankle. You snicker to yourself because the guy is like a tree from down here, what was up with that???

4/13 eat slime erryday

twilit-treaties:

snoopingscout:

pickledistraction:

You nibble at your second slice. You keep watching the ceiling for a while, because the ceiling is just so fascinating to you. When you return your attention to your guests you stare a bit at Scofflaw’s horns, because they just go on for forever.

Then you look over at Scout, and notice that his freckles seem to be dancing around. You reach over and start poking his cheeks, seeing if the freckles will try to dodge your finger.

You skip getting a second piece and go for the pitcher your brought, instead, as well as some of the cookies Dame brought. You have a genius idea.

… Which you’ll get to, after you’re done staring at the slime because of how fucking green it is.

“Has anybody else noticed how fuckin’ good this shit looks?” You nearly slur, dipping a cookie into it. Then Pickle is poking your face, and you grimace. You don’t seem to have much capacity to dodge him, even if your freckles might.

Your second slice of pie disappears as quickly as it came, though this time you know where it went. You ate it. You’re pretty sure you did, anyway, because you can still taste it fresh in your mouth.

It’s not that bad.

You steal one of Scout’s biscuits, reaching out to dip it into the pitcher. You miss. Twice, which seems pretty hilarious to you. You finally get a good coating of the sorpor on the biscuit and stare at it for a minute - why were you after this again?

You solve your dilemma by turning to PI and holding it towards him.

You are just giggling at PI poking Scout’s face. You’re always up for poking the guys in their pokeable cheeks- well actually, Scout and PI are kind of bony and Scofflaw is really fucking tall right now - like you had to stand on your tiptoes to reach his hair when you tried to get it to stay still.

By the way, that kind of worked when your hand was in his hair, but now that you’ve pulled it away it looks all blurry again. You frown and stand on your tiptoes, but you lose your balance and fall into him. Fortunately, as a highblood he is tall and solid, but still, you’re left hanging against him like a… a… lemur. Hehehehehehe.

Actually, that snickering was out loud too. You just kind of stay against him with your face in his side, giggling.

4/13 eat slime erryday

twilit-treaties:

snoopingscout:

pickledistraction:

You finish your slice of pie quickly, and you think about asking for another piece but decide you should wait to see how one slice will affect you. 

You pick your mug of tea back up and take a sip. You pull your feet up onto the couch, getting nice and comfortable. You lean back and stare up at the ceiling which, now that you think of it, looks to be waving ever so slightly.

That’s a bit different from the usual sensation of the room spinning that you feel when you’re drunk. It’s pleasant. You continue to watch the ceiling for a while.

You give up on your fork before long, picking up your piece with your hands instead. By the time you’ve finished it you’ve already noticed a pleasant buzzing feeling your vision going a bit hazy around colors.

It certainly isn’t terrible.

“Think it’s started t’ kick in already,” you say, grinning kind of stupidly at Dame.

You don’t remember moving, but by the time you stop thinking about the way the light glints off of PI’s horns (extremely distracting, but beautiful, too) there’s another slice of pie in front of you.

“What happened.” Less a question, more a confused statement. Did pie just appear out of thin air? Is that a thing pies do?

“Hm?” you say to Scofflaw around your mouthful of slice number 2. A mouthful which consists of half of that slice. You’re a lot less shy about it this time.

You swallow your half slice and lick the excess from your lips and tilt your head at Scofflaw.

“Man your hair is just outta control today,” you say, and reach out to start fixing his shifty tangly mess of shadowhair.

4/13 eat slime erryday

twilit-treaties:

snoopingscout:

pickledistraction:

You finish making the tea and walk into the living room with a tray full of mugs. You hand a mug to each of your guests, then sit down and sip your tea as you look at your pie warily.

It looks… really disgusting, actually. But Dame said it’s not bad, so you steel your nerves and take a bite.

“Th-that’s… actually p-pretty good,” you say. You take another bite.

You disregard Scofflaw’s warning and take a large bite out of your slice. Your cringe immediately, wow you weren’t expecting it to taste quite that sour. But it’s not entirely unpleasant, and after the initial shock wears off you try again. It’s better the second time, maybe because your mouth feels a little numb.

“It’s pretty fuckin’ weird,” you comment, but as long as it does something you’ll keep eating it.

“Not bad, though,” you agree, taking another forkful of your pie and ferrying it into your waiting maw. It’s much better the second time around, and the third, and the fourth, and eventually you have no pie left but hey, that’s fine, you know where you can find some more.

Pickle appears to be a blur of gold in the corner of your eye, and when you turn to ask him to stop being so damn fuzzy he glows like a tiny sun. A nervous, thin, lanky, entirely too malnourished and adorable sun.

“Huh.”

Yeah, it’s kind of a sour-apple-lime kind of flavour. You’re normally not too keen on that kind of flavour, but you guess this slime stuff appeals to troll tastebuds.

You’re about halfway through your piece when you realize everything’s kind of fuzzy on the edges. But like, a warm kind of fuzzy. You snicker to yourself as you finish off your slice.

“So, how do we know when it kicks in?” You ask, turning to Scout and Scofflaw. Scofflaw’s hair seems to be wiggling shadows, and Scout’s face is red but that doesn’t strike you as too weird.

4/13 eat slime erryday

twilit-treaties:

snoopingscout:

pickledistraction:

You, too, are totally prepared. At this point you don’t care what it does, as long as you don’t have to be sober any longer.

(You quietly assure yourself that you do not have a problem.)

You’re watching Scoff prepare the pie when the kettle whistles. You rush to the kitchen to get it.

“Ahh, I was m-making tea,” you say to Scout and Scoff. “D-did either of you want any?”

“As long as it’s somethin’, I’m good.” You curl up close to Scofflaw while you watch him, clearly not because you’re hoping for the first piece, nope.

“Tea?” You blink. You aren’t much of a tea person, but you guess you can make an exception in this case. “Yeah, sure, thanks.”

“Tea sounds good.” From what you saw while you were, ahem, ‘doing research’, eating sorpor is thirsty work. Your indigo brethren were more partial to faygo than anything else, but just one look at the bottles of sickly orange sweetness made your stomach roil.

The pie is cut evenly into four peices, the first piece set in at Pickle’s seat. Scout and Dame get theirs next, and you simply leave your piece in the pie tin. “Just take it easy, don’t go crazy with it.” You’re not sure how this is going to go. You’ve never eaten sorpor before, just slept in it.

You find the taste not unpleasant. Kind of tingly on the tongue.

On the one hand, Scofflaw took a bite and seemed to be okay with it.

On the other hand, with all the crazyshadowhorrorshenanigans, he’s probably had fouler things in his mouth.

But hey, if normal trolls did this to get high, so could you!

You take a little forkful. Aaaand you flinch because woah that is tangy, but oddly kind of numbing as you swallow it.

“Okay, not bad I guess?” you conclude.

4/13 eat slime erryday

twilit-treaties:

snoopingscout:

pickledistraction:

You’re surprised by the sudden knock on the door, and the books you’re toying with jump up into the ceiling, then fall back onto the table. 

Oh, it’s just Scout and Scofflaw. Of course. Why are you so jumpy, gosh. Using your powers kind of puts you on edge.

You notice Scoff’s hesitation to enter. “Ahh, m-make yourselves at home,” you say. “Th—thank you for, for bringing the slime.”

You head inside, setting the pitcher down on the table, before you hold your arms out for Dame. You’ve talked to her online but it’s been literally ages since you’ve seen her, man, she deserves a hug.

“Don’t worry about Scoff, he’ll behave himself,” you mention. “An’ I don’t know about you, but I’m more than fuckin’ ready to get started. I’ve been sober for way too fuckin’ long.”

You nod as Scout speaks, following him to the table. You put one of the thin boxes down and turn to the kitchen. “I’ll put th’ rest in th’ fridge so they don’t spoil,” you say to Inspector as you head into his kitchen. There’s the sound of the fridge opening and a few bottles being moved, then the sound of the fridge closing.

“Just, uh, be prepared. This isn’t your usual intoxicant.” You return from the kitchen with a pack of paper plates and plastic forks. You’ve prepared for this.

You hug scout! Hee hee he’s shorter than you as a troll, but you’re not gonna say anything about that yet.

“God yes, you don’t even want to know how much booze it took just to feel a little buzzed.”

You wait a moment.

“Too much.”

You watch impatiently eagerly as Scofflaw starts readying a pie.

“Nah I’m totally prepared. This is like weed brownies, right?”

4/13 eat slime erryday

twilit-treaties:

snoopingscout:

pickledistraction:

Yeah, you’re pretty sure that’s just a Dame thing, although perhaps her being a troll has given her an excuse to act more on her romantically curious nature.

You’re happy to let the conversation stay on your powers, since that means she probably won’t start grilling you on your quadrants.

“I, I guess I can,” you say. You then focus on a few books sitting on your coffee table. You levitate them, then spin them around a bit. “I ahh, I’ve g-gotten pretty good at doing this. W-with small things, I mean.”

Hopefully startling Pickle while he’s levitating things won’t cause anything disastrous to happen, because just then you knock loudly on the door. You’ve got a large pitcher filled with sopor slime tucked under your arm, and when they answer you hold it up and grin.

“I promise this ‘s fresh, an’ nobody’s slept in it yet. Scofflaw wanted t’ come too, by th’ way.” You jab your thumb behind you.

“I, uh, did some checking around at a few o’ th’ indigo-only “clubs” around town.” Your kind of place, if a bit overly enthusiastic about the Dark Carnival.

That may or may not be heresy, you’re not really sure. You stop before stepping inside after Scout, unwilling to intrude without an invitation - which is very unusual for you, normally you’d be making yourself at home by now. “Apparently sorpor consumption is big in th’ Church.” You hold up a stack of boxes by way of explanation, each of which holds a different flavor of sorpor pie.

Which is to say, there’s only one flavor, and that’s sorpor.

You’re giggling over the moving book, but before you can compliment him more, Scout arrives!

“Hey Scout! Long time no see!”

You’re happy to see Scout! You haven’t seen ‘im in forever!

You’re a little less happy about Scofflaw, but it’s easy to keep your smile from getting too tight and faked when you see the sweet, sweet loot they’re bringing in. Good god! There’s probably enough sopor to sleep in between the pitcher and those boxes!

Okay maybe that’s exaggeration but whatever, you’re ready to eat slime and get troll-high!

4/13 eat slime erryday

pickledistraction:

hystericaldarling:

You take a seat, as you’re free to.

“Oooh, got anything strawberry?” You ask with a pointy troll grin.

Whoops, better dial that back a little, you forgot that troll mouths are more… disconcerting than human ones.

“I mean if y’don’t, I’m down with jasmine.”

You figure you’ve waited long enough, and you lean forward a little.

“So have you moved anything with your mind yet?” you ask eagerly.

“I h-have a s-strawberry-green tea blend th-that’s very good,” you say as you return to the living room.

You scratch your head bashfully when she asks about the psychic stuff. Gosh, everyone’s so interested in that, huh? “I umm. A l-little bit. I h-haven’t done anything sp—spectacular.”

You know you’re supposed to be capable of some amazing feats, but you’re honestly terrified to do more than move books around.

“Yeah! That sounds great!”

At his admission of psychic powers, your grin spreads back into weird troll territory again.

“Wicked! I just have an uncontrollable urge to figure out everybody’s relationships, but idunno, that could just be a troll thing.”

Actually it’s probably just a you thing, but if you’re aware of that at all, you haven’t acknowledged it.

“I mean it can’t possiblytop imaginary world stuff, but you can do neat psychic shit! What isn’t spectacular about that, right?”

Another terrible fantastic idea comes to you:

“Can you show me?”

4/13 eat slime erryday

pickledistraction:

hystericaldarling:

“Hey, PI!” You greet as you enter.

“Nah, we better save the cookies for later,” but then you hesitate, tilt your head, and nod, “Actually, tea doesn’t sound too bad. What d’you got? Oh! And where could I put these?”

You raise a grocery bag full of goods you picked up on the way over. Everyone seems pretty okay with a troll walkin’ around and shopping (or if they weren’t, they didn’t say anything)

You take the grocery bag off her hands. How nice of her, providing snacks for the party. You’ll have to send her a thank you card afterwards. It’s only polite.

“I’ll take them t-to the kitchen,” you say. “I ahh, I have p-pretty much any sort of tea. Wh-whatever you like, I p-probably have it.”

You make your way to the kitchen, put the groceries on the table and put the kettle on. “F-feel free to have a seat,” you tell her.

You take a seat, as you’re free to.

“Oooh, got anything strawberry?” You ask with a pointy troll grin.

Whoops, better dial that back a little, you forgot that troll mouths are more… disconcerting than human ones.

“I mean if y’don’t, I’m down with jasmine.”

You figure you’ve waited long enough, and you lean forward a little.

“So have you moved anything with your mind yet?” you ask eagerly.

4/13 eat slime erryday

pickledistraction:

hystericaldarling:

You arrive at Inspector’s house early, because you are that excited to get slimed (okay gotta find a better word for it), and because you wouldn’t mind catchin’ up with him before Scout showed up.

Plus, you heard he was yellowblooded.

You knock and wait to be let in, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

You answer the door promptly and smile at Dame.

“It’s, ahh, g-good to see you, Dame,” you say. You motion for her to enter. “P-please, come in.”

Once she’s inside, you close the door. “Umm. W—would you like s-some tea? Or c-cookies or something?”

“Hey, PI!” You greet as you enter.

“Nah, we better save the cookies for later,” but then you hesitate, tilt your head, and nod, “Actually, tea doesn’t sound too bad. What d’you got? Oh! And where could I put these?”

You raise a grocery bag full of goods you picked up on the way over. Everyone seems pretty okay with a troll walkin’ around and shopping (or if they weren’t, they didn’t say anything)